2011 was a historic and world changing year, and therefore one all the more remarkable for its supervillainy. As we usher in 2012, we take a look back on those evil bastards that distinguished themselves with notoriety. Ladies and Gentlemen we give you our supervillain awards: ‘The Infammy’s’.
Supervillain of the year – Muammar Gaddafi
In a year where the Arab Spring brought the supervillainy of the Maghreb’s dictators to the fore, Gaddafi was perhaps the most iconic. From his violent response to internal rebellion, to a suicidal defiance in the face of NATO air strikes, to his grotesque end, no supervillain was more baited, hated and debated than the Mad Dog. Following a brief rapprochement with the West, in 2011 Gadaffi went back to poking out imperialist’s eyes, and delusions of grandeur.
Best scandal – The News International phone hacking scandal
The hacking of kidnapped child Milly Dowler’s phone set off a trail of scandal that brought down the nations favourite sleaze peddler The News of the World, scuppered the Murdoch takeover of BSkyB and led to the resignation of top Tory advisor Andy Coulson. But it also had its uplifting moments, such as Hugh Grant’s vengeance, human punchbag Jules Stenson’s battering on Newsnight, and James Murdoch being called a mafia boss. This one will rumble on through 2012.
Bunga bunga award for sexual exploits (sponsored by Mediaset) - Silvio Berlusconi
Who else? Be it paying for underage hookers or renaming his party “Go Pussy”, the world’s most villainous lothario wasn’t slowed down by the financial crisis consuming Italy. When questioned about his penchant for womanising, Il Cavaliere was as modest as ever: ’According to a survey, when asked if [women] would like to have sex with me, 30 per cent said, “Yes”, while the other 70 per cent replied, “What, again?”.’
Dictator of the year - Vladimir Putin
2011 was a bad year for dictators. Ben Ali and Mubarak’s depositions set the tone for a year that also claimed Berlusconi, Gadaffi and Kim Jong-Il. With this in mind, our dictator of the year goes to the one that has managed to not only hold on, but also nominate himself for the 2012 presidential (again). Despite protests, whistleblowing, and scandal, nothing could shake ‘action man’, as these pictures of Putin doing things demonstrate.
Best newcomer - Mario Balotelli
‘Why always me?’ Supervillain connoisseurs may argue that Ballotelli is no newcomer; he has in fact been raising hell for a while now. But 2011 was undeniably a watershed moment in the emergence of this star. Highlights include setting off fireworks in his house, throwing darts at teammates and a curious struggle with a training bib.
Coup of the year - The Cthulhu Revolt
It happened on the very pages of the Supervillain HoF. During a dispute over the credibility of Cthulhu inclusion in the Hall of Fame, imperialist lackeys and running dogs tried to subvert the democratic principles of Supervillains HoF only to be purged, proving that history is always written by the winners.
Best Corruption – Sepp Blatter
Unperturbed by allegations of vote rigging during the World Cup bidding in 2010, Sepp Blatter went one better this year, winning the FIFA presidential elections as the only candidate on the ballot. Triumphant and unassailable, he promptly awarded two lucrative World Cup contracts to Swiss firm Infront – run by Sepp's nephew Philippe. All the while no fewer than seven former and existing FIFA executives were hit with corruption charges. Blatter: 'Crisis? What is a crisis?'
Richard Nixon award for best fabrication - Vybz Kartel escapes
Everyone was blown away by reports of Vybz Kartel’s audacious escape from prison, which caused a storm on social networking sites, including the Supervillains HoF. Unfortunately it turned out to be completely made up.
Quote of the year – Gigi Becali
"A man can choose. As God said: man is man and woman is whore." Becali on FC Dinamo chairman Cristian Borcea's decision to divorce his wife and marry a model.
Best hate crime – Jeremy Clarkson
The world of football was prolific this year as John Terry/ Luis Suarez, Sky Sports untouchables Andy Gray and Richard Keys, and somewhat inevitably Sepp Blatter were all caught up in ‘ism’ scandals. And who could forget “Tram Woman” or David Starkey’s ‘analysis’ of ‘black culture’. But this year’s award has to go the master, Jeremy Clarkson, for his ‘joke’ about public sector strikers. The tirade about Mexicans on Top Gear came a close second, losing only because Richard Hammond isn’t a Supervillain. He isn’t even a real hamster.
Lifetime achievement award - Kim Jong-Il
Many supervillains fell this year, but by far the most upsetting and shocking was the death of Kim Jong-Il. Remarkably obstinate in his hold of power in the face of imperialist lackeys, South Korean running dogs and of course the old enemy Hans Blix, it was eventually only the little man’s mortality that did for him. Through the lifetime of achievement that followed his immaculate conception Kim left a hell of a legacy: among other things he will be remembered most for inventing ‘double bread with meat’ and becoming the world’s best ever golfer. Even nature mourned.
